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A Note from Linda ...

Whether we call it negotiating or bargaining, we all want to win. I've found the smartest and most satisfying win is when both parties walk away feeling good. So instead of entering my negotiating process thinking "winner-loser," I always look for the "win-win" solution.

Negotiating is something we all do just about every day. Happily, most of our outcomes don't impact us significantly. But for the times that they do, knowing how to "Get to Yes" stands paramount.

As business leaders, negotiating plays a key role in our success. Being a strong negotiator can win us important results leading to increased revenue or decreased costs. And because most transactions can be viewed as negotiations, we must be skilled in reaching favorable results for all parties involved.

Moving forward, what more can you do to strengthen your bargaining skills?

My best,
Linda Yaffe
Certified Corporate Coach

"Let's never again negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate." -- John Fitzgerald Kennedy

Bargaining to Win

Without signing up for the Harvard Negotiating Project, how can you effectively bargain to get what you want?

Let's face it: Each of us negotiates every day. At work, we discuss additional compensation when we're promoted to a new position. We plan a vacation or a move. We negotiate with our family over what's for dinner and which TV shows to watch. We negotiate all sorts of things, big and small, on a daily basis.

Negotiation is a means of getting what you want from others. It consists of back-and-forth discussions designed to reach an agreement with another party anytime you face common and opposing interests.

Positional Bargaining

Most often, when people bargain, they become entrenched in their positions. They try to reach a compromise that's as close as possible to their original goal. This means bargaining in a give-and-take fashion.

You start at $10. Your "opponent" says $100. You then chime in with $20-and not a penny more. The other bargainer responds with $85. The dance continues until a middle ground is reached. Sometimes, the compromise may not fit the needs of either participant, and the relationship is then strained.

The problem with this process, known as "positional bargaining," is simple: Once you take a position, you lock yourself into it. The more you defend it, the more committed you become to it. Your ego soon hinges on your position, and you then have a new goal: "saving face."

At this point, your focus is to meet your original goal, without sacrificing your original conditions. You pay less attention to the other side's position. In the end, you reach a compromise akin to "splitting the difference," as opposed to a workable solution that meets the legitimate interests of both parties. As a result, the final agreement is often less than satisfactory to both parties.

Hard or Soft Bargainer?

People have a natural tendency to be a hard or soft bargainer. Many recognize the high cost of hard bargaining and hope to avoid it by adopting a more gentle style. Rather than trying to win at all costs, they emphasize the importance of building and maintaining the relationship.

Within families and friends, many negotiations follow this approach. But if a soft bargainer goes up against a hard bargainer, the hard one will ultimately dominate.

An Alternative Process

There's an alternative to hard or soft bargaining: Change the game entirely. Based on the Harvard Negotiation Project, this method-described in the book Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In by Roger Fisher, William Ury and Bruce Patton-is called principled negotiation, or negotiation on the merits.

Principled negotiation involves finding ways to meet the basic interests of both parties, seeking mutually satisfying options and using fair standards that typically result in a sound agreement. Both parties avoid digging in their heels. They separate the personalities and their egos from the problem at hand. They deal directly, empathetically and respectfully with each other. Their goal: to reach a mutually beneficial solution.

Four Elements to Principled Negotiation

There are four areas to consider in principled negotiation:

1. People: Separate the people from the problem.

2. Interests: Focus on interests, not positions.

3. Options: Generate a variety of possibilities before deciding what to do

4. Criteria: Insist on a result based on an objective standard

Consider these four elements from the moment you begin to think about negotiating until an agreement is definitively reached. The process can be broken down into three phases: analysis, planning and discussion.

Three Phases of Negotiating

Analysis: During the analysis stage, you gather information, organize it and think about it. You must identify the outcome (basic need or want) you wish to achieve.

For example, if you are negotiating a family vacation, you'll need to specify exactly what you want to achieve when taking a trip. You may desire relaxation, excitement or some other goal. You'll also need to know who will be joining you and their basic needs, wants and outcomes. Notice how this differs from trying to convince others to go to Hawaii for a family vacation. The focus is on outcomes-not positions or locations.

During the analysis phase, you'll want to consider any people problems, partisan perceptions and unclear communications as you identify others' needs. Note the options already on the table (i.e., Hawaii, Mexico, Wyoming), and identify any criteria already suggested as a basis for agreement (costs, activities, distance, etc.).

Planning: Deal with the four elements of principled negotiation during the planning phase as you generate ideas and decide what to do. Consider these questions:

1. How will you handle people problems?

2. Of your interests, which are the most important?

3. What are some realistic objectives?

4. What are some additional options?

5. What criteria will be used in decision making?

Discussion: During the discussion phase, both parties communicate back and forth, examining differences in perception, feelings of frustration and anger, and other factors. Remember to examine all four of the elements: people, interests, options and criteria. Each side should come to understand the other's interests. Both can then jointly generate options that are mutually advantageous and seek agreement on objective standards for resolving opposition.

Using our family vacation example, one person may want to schedule as much activity and sports as possible, while another member wants to relax and read. Picking a location requires family members to examine options that satisfy the group.

This method of reaching agreement considers all parties' interests and allows you to reach a joint decision without the high costs of positional bargaining.

This doesn't mean it's easy to change habits and disentangle emotions from the process. It may be difficult at first to enlist others in the task of working out a wise solution to a shared problem. Your first goal is to find a better way to negotiate. With principled negotiation, you'll enjoy the satisfaction that accompanies getting what you deserve while maintaining positive relationships during the bargaining process.

Working on your negotiating skills with your coach will help you reach these fair and successful outcomes.

WorkingMatters' principal, Linda Yaffe, a Leadership Development and Certified Executive Coach, uses her senior and executive level management experience to help you achieve your business and career goals.

Whether you are jump-starting a business, advancing your career, an executive or president, Linda’s coaching expertise will provide you with the essential focus, skills and behaviors needed to perform, advance and lead in today’s business environment.

As well, Linda works closely with companies like yours focused on "high potential grooming and leadership performance enhancement" geared toward your top talent and next generation of leaders.

Linda delivers bottom-line benefits to individuals and organizations focused on moving to the highest levels of learning, performance and achievement.

In addition to coaching, Linda delivers Leadership Workshops to small and large businesses.

Linda abides by the strict code of confidentiality and adheres to the highest standard of ethics in accordance with the International Coach Federation.

For more information, please contact Linda by email at LYaffe@WorkingMatters.com